Back to school: haircuts, hummus, and bulbonic plague- oh my!

You may have noticed I haven’t been blogging the past few days.*That’s because I’ve been devoting blood sweat and tears to studying for that evil monolith of standardized testing, the GRE. Honestly, you think having an entire undergraduate career would be indicative of your readiness for grad school, but NO- they can’t charge you an extra $160 for real-world academic experience. That’s why they need a standardized test. Bitterness aside, I made the trek out to the testing center this morning, which happens to be located in my dear Alma Mater, University of Pittsburgh, where today was the first day of classes. All that hustle and bustle, the neverending crowds… needless to say, it was like stepping into a Petri dish of plague. Awesome.
It never fails. My immune system has the uncanny ability to stave off sickness until literally 5 minutes after a test, when I feel the beginnings of a sore throat along with the wave of relief. Thanks, evolutionary responses! As such, my more boisterous plans for celebrating freedom will have to go on backburner as I nurse an illness the likes of which I haven't felt since my undergraduate career.**
Here’s MY lesson plan for the week. It’s what I’ll be doing/what I recommend you doing if you feel like taking a moment of personal time during this hectic first week of classes, or if you're an old-timer like me who wants to kick-it old school (no pun intended).
Seminar in Historical American Culture (HISTORY 001- 5 credits): Buffy the Vampire Slayer: They may not have the whole series, but they have the first few episodes. You owe it to yourself to check this out- not only does it have corny side effects, piffy late-nineties dialogue, and RIDICULOUS fashion, but it’s a total blast from the past for anyone who is a late 80’s baby like myself. Seriously, it’s of great cultural significance, especially the super-dark lipstick.
Preventative Health Science (BIOLOGY 0500- 3 credits): Here’s my recipe for the aptly named “Sick day Hummus”. Warning: it’s seriously garlicky, but it seriously works. It’s loaded with vitamin C to boost your germ resistance, plus tons of garlic, which has natural antiseptic properties. Use this to fortify your immune system for the long winter ahead. It also has the welcome side effect of warding off vampires- trust me, I haven’t seen one yet.
1 15-ounce can chickpeas (garbanzo beans)
3 cloves of garlic, peeled and diced
2-3 tablespoons lemon juice (add as needed)
A pinch of salt (to taste)
Rinse and strain the chickpeas. Toss them in your blender, add the diced garlic cloves, 2 tablespoons lemon juice, and the salt, and puree. If the mixture isn’t getting as smooth as you would like, add a bit of water or more lemon juice (your choice) and keep blending. Pause once in a while to scrape the sides of the blender to mix the hummus, add more lemon juice or water, and keep blending till the mixture has the consistency of loose peanut butter. Eat it on a sandwich, with tortilla chips or pita, with a side salad or with rice… any way you want, this stuff is super versatile.
Home Economics (ECON 0020- 4 credits) A fashionable, yet affordable haircut at Salvatore Puccini’s Hair Design in Oakland. Puccini’s has a walk-in discount of $18-$32 if you drop by without a scheduled appointment, plus many other bonuses- check the link. The different hairstylists have different… well, styles, but if you are clear about what you want, you’ll generally walk away quite pleased. I’ve had comparable haircuts that cost me much more. Which leads me to:
How to get a happy haircut:
-Know what you want. Go in with specific ideas for styles. If you want the same style, that’s fine, just know that that’s what you want. It seems simple, but many don’t realize that just a little planning can make a routine haircut a much happier experience.
-Bring in a picture of what you want. If you have your heart set on looking like Sookie Stackhouse, you can tell them as such. But what if the stylist doesn’t have HBO? Print out a picture that shows exactly what you want- it spares you trying to explain and her trying to understand. For extra credit, say what it is about the style that you like ("I like that it frames the face.")If you can’t find a picture, proceed to step two.
- Get versed in hairstyling terminology. “Layering” is a hair technique that involves the hair being cut into variegated layers to create body. “Crisping” is when you have all your layers left the same, but trimmed for split ends. A “weave” is a hairpiece that is woven into the rest of your hair to create more volume. And on, and on, and on. The more specific you can be about what you want, the more likely it is that you’ll get out of there with your dignity intact. Check this website for a helpful hair terms list: http://www.leestafford.com/uk/thelook/glossary/
-Be specific. If you’re like me and you like long layers, say so. If you’re growing out your bangs or all your hair, tell them... preferably before they start cutting. You may feel like you’re being a bossy bitch (bastard?) but most of the stylists I’ve spoken to prefer direction and clear communication to a silent customer that later comes back demanding a refund.
So that’s it. School’s out!

*Or maybe you haven’t- if a tree falls in a forest with no one there to hear it, does it make a sound?
**A whole four months ago!