Do you talk about cosmetics and bath supplies for hours with your friends? No? I’ve tried, but the only person I know who can keep up with my mania is my old friend RLL. Last time I was in New York, she pointed me towards Lush, an all-natural beauty line that has a marketing angle as appealing as its company ethics. It’s overwhelming. I don’t know whether to hug her or punch her in the throat, because now I know where my next paychecks are going.
Lush has stores all over the country, including our very own Downtown Pittsburgh. Lots of its products are vegan, and unlike most ‘ethical’ and ‘natural’ beauty lines, you actually get out of the bathroom looking like you’ve made an effective effort towards hygiene. Many of their cleansers and shampoos are solid and sold by weight (they chop bits off a giant bar and wrap them in paper, like a butcher shop) which eliminates both the waste that would be produced by packaging and the many preservatives that are inherent in liquid bath supplies- AND if you go to the store, they’ll cut off a chunk as big as you want to spend. This stuff is snazzy and feel-good. Like so many well-marketed beauty products, they fill needs you didn’t even know that you had. Such as breast cream.
No, it’s not the ‘enhancement’ cream you see in tabloid ads and on late-night TV, but it’s not a far cry from it either. Lovely Jubblies is formulated to tighten up any sagging that may be ‘bringing you down’ so to speak, and also to perfume your area with lovely floral scents. Sounds ridiculous… but…
I really, really wish I were not so susceptible to this kind of marketing. Intellectually, I know that breast cream is utterly ridiculous. But at the same time, what if I’m 50 years old and more droopy than a lactating baboon? Just you google ‘saggy boobs’ and try not to be terrified. (Actually, don’t. Please don’t. I could never forgive myself if I let you do that). The internet is sometimes not all it’s cracked up to be.*
Lush’s website has good guides for alternate uses of the products, but not all their stock is available online. The blurbs don’t give a clear description of what each product is meant to accomplish. As your responsible beauty blogger and an utter yuppie, it would have been reprehensible for me not to go the store in person on my lunch break and get acquainted with some of their less bizarre offerings.
As I expected, the friendly people at the store were able to help navigate me towards the Fresh Farmacy cleanser, the Tea Tree Water toner, Grease Lightning cleanser, and their Cupcake mask (only in store). The straight-talking sales associate smeared face mask on my wrists and spritzed me with lots of herbal-smelling mists. At the end of it all, I walked away with some purchases, arms that smelled like chocolate, and a ton of free samples. The cleanser and mask made my face feel soft, tingly, and totally deep-cleaned. Great customer service, great stuff, and prices that rival the crap at CVS? I’m in. Maybe just not for the breast cream.
*See rstck.blogspot.com
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